爱的密码（CODES OF LOVE）
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作者： MARK BRYAN著
出 版 社： Scribner
出版时间： 1999-12-1字数：版次： 1页数： 290印刷时间： 2005/04/01开本：印次：纸张： 胶版纸I S B N ： 9780684861487包装： 平装内容简介
Mark Bryan's work is bringing families together. He was a member of Oprah Winfrey's 1999 "Change Your Life" team and a regular on her show, where he reunites parents and children. Now, counselor, educator, and cofounder of The Artist's Way Workshops, Mark Bryan offers a book that will help all of us get closer to our family members and achieve deeper intimacy by cracking the
Codes of Love
As a counselor, Bryan reconnects parents and grown children despite the pain, bitterness, and anger when the work begins. In helping families find buried closeness, Bryan has learned many lessons about what it takes to open people's hearts. He shares these lessons here -- as well as his own family story, which he weaves throughout the book, a story that poignantly illustrates how reconnection is more than possible, even after years of separation.
Bryan's key insight is that families often communicate love in code, using words, actions, and behaviors that not only may obscure love but sometimes get interpreted as love's opposite. Messages of affection, caring, and concern may be sent in ways that other family members read as negative judgments, efforts to control and undermine. Gaps in communication cause the messages to get lost or distorted in transit. These gaps result from generational and life differences, contrasting emotional and conversational styles, "interference" from a legacy of past conflicts, and other factors. If you can decode your family's messages of love and affection, from the past and from today, you can open the door to richer family ties.
Codes of Love is a guidebook that offers the basic tools for creating better relationships with parents, siblings, grown sons and daughters, spouses, even old friends -- all the loved ones in your life. Bryan explores why family affection so often gets buried or forgotten, then shows us how to recover warmth and rebuild family bonds. He gives readers the necessary tools to crack the codes of love in their own families and discover intimate connections they may not have known existed.
目录
Preface: Coming Home
Introduction: A Brand-new Past
1 From Tragedy to Comedy
2 Remember
3 Reflect
4 Re-frame
5 Reconnect
6 Codes of Love
7 Falling in Love with Your Family
8 Friends, Lovers, and the World at Large
Epilogue: Why We Do This Work
Appendix I: Going Home for the Holidays
A Checklist
Appendix II: The Codes of Love Rules of
Engagement
Appendix III: Teaching and Traveling with
Codes of Love: A Guide to Starting Study
Groups
Bibliography
Index
