For women. How to escape being categorized

Dear Dragonfly,

You sweetly wrote "I don't know how to express my feelings after reading your reply. I feel you are not a grandmother but a lovingly girl or a young wife. How young your heart is!"

I have a loving husband and I don't think much about age, although I have creaks

and groans in the bones and lines in my face to suit my numeric age. I accept

myself as I am and make the best of it as I age. In a way I sort of consider myself to be ageless because I don't bother with it unless I have to. When I do,

I just take care of whatever the thing is without brooding about it.

I also refuse to fit into a mold of how an aged woman is supposed to move, wear

her hair, dress in more neutral colours, and so on. I don't wear sexy clothes like a young woman, but within dignity I wear whatever I like and I think looks well on me. I have observed that women here dress in age categories, have their hair done in age categories, and so on. I don't go to hairdressers but trim my own hair and fix it so I don't spend the money, don't hear what they advise, and

don't begin to look like everybody else.

I read a lot of fact and non-fiction, and stay informed. I collect interesting

clothes and don't fall into an age category so far as clothing is concerned. All this doesn't only help the way I look, it helps to keep me out of the "age box

." Staying out of the age box in appearance means that I remove another thing that would put me into the mold. It's important to avoid the mold while still retaining your dignity. In other words, no short shorts or skirts, nothing above

the kneww, and no very tight and revealing clothing. It looks ridiculous on an

older woman, even when she has a good figure. It looks like trying too hard. That is for the young. Wear your shorts at home. Don't let yourself be

standardized, homogenized, neutralized or become stale minded.

Otherwise, what else must be avoided in the way of clothing? Nothing.

Don't give up on make-up as you get older. Continue to wear it but

don't go to the extremes. Keep to a happy middle way, as in all things.

Life must be in balance to work out well.

I read a lot and so have a lively mind, and Ben isn't retired and goes out to the office as usual. So I'm not in a retired situation which might change my outlook. I like to spend a lot of time by myself, but I also like people of any age.

Start now for yourself. This will serve you well and become habit long before

you ever need it. Refuse to be categorized!

Warmly, Mary