Year end schmoozing, with Dove

Good morning, Dove,

Sorry for the delay in replying. I have been so occupied with works in the office lately, many people are leaving for vacation and we all have to take on more responsibility to keep the business operating. Congrats on getting your new dream

toy, an IBM ThinkPad! IBM always offers quality products, I am sure this fabulous widget must be very gratifying and fulfilling for you.

Another year is almost over again. Time always seems to pass by so fast, I often

feel I still have so much yet to accomplish, so many books to read, so many projects to undertake, so many facets of life yet to experience and savor…I must be an introverted type as I don’t feel I missed too many opportunities to meet and talk to new people. I am often perceived as a very quiet person, as I don’t

enjoy spending my free time schmoozing on the triviality of daily life. My primary goal in life is to build a concrete economic foundation for my wife and kids

and fulfill my innate obligations as a provider and householder. You are probably aware that I am beginning to move away from the border of 30’s and 40’s, aging and the debilitating energy level seem to deprive my mental fortitude, weaken my spiritual tenacity and make me feel alarmed of the swift passing of time, and life. Aging also evokes a sense of helplessness and bewilderment. Looking back to my past accomplishments and endeavors, I still can’t evade a sense of emptiness, on failing to clutch certain bygone opportunities and seize conquests in

other facets of life. I am not a very romantic man. I almost never bought my wife any flowers throughout our 13 years of marriage. I always told her I won’t buy her roses but I am tirelessly working toward buying her a rose garden when we

retire. Instead of buying her expensive artifacts, I’d rather provide her a well diversified retirement savings plan and a bulging financial portfolio. Instead

of buying her a diamond watch, I’d rather take her on an exotic vacation, such

as a trip to France! During a visit to the city of Ventimiglia of Italy, near the French and Italian border, I bought her 2 genuine leather jackets. And when we were in Paris, I bought her an exorbitantly expensive French leather purse. And this Christmas, I bought my wife a 27” pure flat Sony TV. So you see, my love

for my wife is manifested not by fresh flowers which last only a week, but by leather jackets and purse which last for eons. :-)

My Christmas is usually very quiet. Real life is never like what’s depicted in

Hollywood movies. I bought my eleven year old son one year’s subscription to a

Japanese comic magazine, Shonen Jump, and my four year old daughter, a talking and moving polar bear. The gifts I received are two books, “The Afterlife Connection”, and “The Case for a Creator”. Much pleasure will derive from these thought-provoking and spirit-lifting readings. We attended a party at a friend’s

house on Christmas Eve, I did some touching Mandarin singing on Karaoke, (Oh gosh, could I ever sing, my voice is almost as good as that of Neil Diamond’s and

Neil Young’s!) I also got to enjoy a delicious pot-luck dinner and met some old friends whom I haven’t seen for months. Throughout my life I never had the interest or could find the time to really learn how to dance. My wife envies other

women whose husband can take them for a romantic and intimate dance, so now one

of my New Year’s resolutions is to enroll in dancing classes in May 2005. I look at this as an opportunity to fulfill the fantasy of my wife, and also a chance to get in shape through dancing and exercising. I like singing much more than

dancing, but the lack of such skill will not consummate a fruitful life.

I live in a white society but I seldom come into contact with Caucasian Canadians after work, most of my friends are English speaking and Canadian raised Asians

and my wife’s friends are non English speaking Chinese. You are probably unaware that my wife can hardly speak English. I talk to her mainly in our own dialect. She speaks some but is not very fluent in Mandarin and Cantonese. My friends

are mostly my old time college classmates, and we are most comfortable communicating in English, while my wife’s friends are mostly blue collar workers without

an advanced Canadian education. So you can imagine why I also feel there’s an

intellectual gap among her friends and I. We have few mutual interests and I find it onerous to engage in any sort of meaningful and stirring discussion with any of her friends. Well, this is the way life often is, not everything will cater

to our gratification and desire. There will always be disappointments, and that

makes room for more cravings, yearnings and longings, for something better, more suitable and appealing… Life is what we make of it, but we all lack the ability to turn mediocrity into magic. We will have to learn to succumb to the fact that gratification derives not from wanting what you love, but from loving what you have.

As we speak, another year is coming to an end. I wish to propose a toast: May we

all ultimately receive what we genuinely desire in life. Life is demanding, may

we all learn to ride with the wave.

Live long and prosper.

Neil