Tomorrow is his birthday

Tomorrow is his birthday, but I have no idea about what kind of gift for him.

The day before, he said one of his classmates will go and celebrate the day with him, and he want me to think about the responsibility I should bear. I don't know what to say, it's tough for me to explain the feeling inside. I always feel tired. I have thought the future, he and I will marry and live together happily. But according to the present situation, it's hard. The distance really has changed our lives. I want to do my best to make us feel like before, but only my efforts won't be enough. We haven't enough time to exchange the ideas newly come to mind, we don't know the present situation of the other, only one thing we can do is to try, try to make things like before, or like we are to be together. But whether it will come true? Who knows!

But one thing I am quite clear, I am missing him, very much. I always dream of him, in the past scenes, walking along the gravel path, sending a paper boat along the river or just watching into other's eyes. Beautiful dreams. But when I told him, he laughed and said he just didn't know what part of him could be missed. It's amusing, and I never say that again. But in my heart, I always want him be the happiest. I hate to hear that he get frustrated, because I just can't help! I want to be on his side, but I just can't, and I guess he doesn't need. So, I don't know what to say, I feel so hollow inside, but I pretend to be contend and patient all the time. I feel tired!