A true love story, and how it happened

Dear LC10105,

Don't become hopeless about finding your true love just because you see bad things happening around you in other's romances. This is your opportunity to learn what to avoid. If you watch and think you will discover underlying reasons for the bad things happening around you. Then you can avoid making the same mistakes that you've experienced or seen made by others.

I went out with eight bad eggs in a row. They were charming, interesting men. Each was flawed in a different way. That was partly why I was able to recognize the excellent qualities of my dear Ben. They were even hiding underneatha strong accent, an out of style hair-cut, an unsuitable mustache, a business suit and hat that would have been better on a man of my father's age. Luckily for me I kept on watching for his character, behavioiur, and basic beliefs. What I wanted to avoid never appeared.

Eventually he shaved off the mustache, dropped the business clothes, I got used to the accent, and when we went swimming I saw to my joy there was not only a good and dear man underneath all the disguise, but a handsome and well-built one, as well. Icing on the cake! This dear person fell in love with me. Lucky me. So once I was sure what kind of a man he was, I let myself fall in love with him, too.

Look for good character, and talk a lot together so you will find out whether this man has similar ideas to your own about important things in life. For instance, like how a child should be raised, how he was raised, sharing money in the family, loyalty to the marriage promise. Truthfulness. Only marry a fundamentally happy person. Try to be that kind of person yourself.

I wish you the very best. I hope your prince charming will come to you when the time is right. Don't let yourself fall in love with anybody before you know what they truly are. Charm and looks aren't enough. It takes care, courage and self discipline to find a good marriage partner. Don't believe in love at first sight, even if you experience it. Still watch and test and discover. It could be a "blind alley". All the qualities have to be there also, for a good, happy and enduring marriage.

Warm good wishes, Mary