A change of season, A change of heart
Summer had passed you by with a blink. Autumn, come through your window, and greeted you with the yellow leaves, and the sharp wind. Seasons are changing, leaves turning yellow, flowers closing their petals, birds flying off to warmer places. Everywhere, you could see all hints of the change of season.
Just a week ago, I was enclosed in a shaft of light. Now, coldness, sharp wind, the night's silence, all had been telling me one thing: autumn is coming.
Do you prefer the summer, when the flowers are blooming, when the birds are singing, when the trees are dancing, and the wind caressing you? Or do you prefer the autumn, when the leaving are falling, when you dance in the rain, when you walk through the golden road, when you see the birds flying off, when petals falling from the sky? Summer is hot, autumn is cool. Summer is warm, autumn is cold. Summer is the splashing of waves, autumn is the still water.
Summer is over, fun is over. All the good memories of summer vacation have to be kept behind, at a deep place in my heart. What come up, is the feeling of tireness, is the feeling of going back to study.
School started several weeks ago, in fact, this week is the fifth week. So long,my lowest grade is a B, which is Chemistry class. Today as I got my friday card, (a card we give to teachers to record down our grades on Friday) I give it to my first period teacher. As I handed her the card, she said, "Why do you need the card? You don't need it, you are getting an A. There is nothing to worry about." Though she had comforted me, I told her I am still worried. The teacher laughed and joked that I would worry about my grades until the day I get the highest degree in the world.
My second period teacher told me the same thing, he said I am doing fine, even my Spanish teacher said I worried too much. There is no point in worrying things that could not happen for a long time, and there is nothing to worry about, since I am getting A.
Now I began to question myself, "Did I worry too much? Or what?"
The answer came to me in a flash, yes, I worried too much. Since the beginning of school, I have been worried sick about my grades, about how well I could do in the classes, and how much I would lose. I am always afraid, afraid to fall, afraid to be a loser, afraid to be seen as a girl who has bad grades. Too afraid, too frightened, so the only way is to think not to let what I thought happened. I remembered someone saying "It did no good to your mind if you worry too much." It certainly didn't do me any goods. I've been sleeping for a few hours each day, and everyday I will have some kind of dream that kept me from a good, resting sleep. How I missed the night camping in the forest! How I missed the day getting up and be surrounded by the smell of woods and water droplets!
Maybe I need to relax, maybe I need something to let me forgot all the worries I have as soon as school started. Going to the beach, I think, it could calm me a bit. But today as I saw the leaves turing yellow, and recall the good time I had when I walked on the crunchy leaves, I just realized that I can't relax until this year comes to an end. Maybe it is my nature, maybe I am just afraid of losing, maybe...
Just then, I heard this song from the movie "Carousel", and I was impressed by the lyrics.
"When you walk through a storm,hold your head up high.Don't be afraid of the dark.At the end of the storm,is a golden sky,and the sweet, silver song of a lark.Walk on through the wind,walk on through the rain,though your dreams be tossed and blown.Walk on, walk on,with hope in your heart.And you'll ever walk alone,you will never walk alone."
So it would be. When I walk through a storm, I would still held my head up high. When I walk through the storm, I won't be afraid of the dark, won't be afraid to be alone. Everytime when the sun is going down, everytime when dark comes, I would remember, there would always be a shoulder I could lean onto, there would always be a person I could hold on to, a hand that would extend out to me when I need it.
So, nothing to worry about. Things that are meant to happen would happen, even when you don't want it to be. So, nothing to worry, just live my life, and be happy even when I am facing a storm. For after a storm, there would be rainbow.
