What I have lived for
Three passions, simple but overwhelming1y strong, have governed my life :the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind. These passions, in a wayward course,over a deep ocean of anguish, reaching to the very verge of despair.
I have sought love, first, because it brings ecstasy-ecstasy so great that I would often have sacrificed all my rest of life for a few hours of this joy. I have sought it ,next because it relieves loneliness-that terrible loneliness in which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the co1d unfathomable lifeless abyss. I have sought it, finally, because in the union of love I have seen, in a mystic miniature, the prefiguring vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined. This is what I sought, and though it might seem too good for human life, this is what-at last-I have found.
With equa1 passion I have sought knowledge. I have wished to understand the hearts of men. I have wished to know why the stars shine. And I have tried to apprehend the Pythagorean power by which number holds sway above the flux. A 1ittle of this, but not much, I have achieved.
Love and knowledge, so far they were possible, led upward toward the heavens. But always pity brought me back to earth. Echoes of cries of pain reverberate in my hear. Children in famine, victims tortured by oppressors, helpless old people a hated burden to their pain make a mockery of what human life should be. I long to alleviate the evi1,but I can’t, and I too suffer.
This has been my life. I have found it worth living, and wou1d gladly live it again if the chance were offered me.
有三种简单然而无比强烈的激情左右了我的一生;对爱的渴望,对知识的探索和对人类苦难的难以忍受的怜悯。这些激情像飓风,反复地吹拂过深重的苦海,濒于绝境。
我寻找爱,首先是因为它使人心醉神迷一-一这种陶醉是如此的美妙,使我愿意牺牲所有的余生去换取几个小时这样的欣喜。我寻找爱,还因为它解除孤独一一(在可怕的孤独中,一颗颤抖的灵魂从世界的边缘看到冰冷、无底、死寂的深渊。最后,我寻找爱,还因为在爱的交融中,神秘而又具体入微地,我看到了圣贤和诗人们想象出的天堂的前景。这就是我所寻找的,而且,虽然对人生来说似乎过于美妙,这也是我终于找到了的。
以同样的激情我探索知识。我希望能够理解人类的心灵。我希望能够知道群星为何闪烁。我试图领悟毕达哥拉斯所景仰的数字力量,它支配着此消彼长。仅在不大的一定程度上,我达到了此目的。
爱和知识,只要有可能,通向着天堂。但是怜悯总把我带回尘世。痛苦呼喊的回声回荡在我的内心。忍饥挨饿的孩子,惨遭压迫者摧残的受害者,被儿女们视为可憎的负担的痛苦无助的老人,使人类所应有的生活成为了笑柄。我渴望能够减少邪恶,但是我无能为力,而且我自己也在忍受折磨。
这就是我的一生。我发现它值得一过。如果再给我一次机会,我会很高高兴地再活它一次。
