Say there's a brawl with all the superheroes. Who wins?

Dear Yahoo!:

Say there's a brawl with all the superheroes. Who wins?

Charlie

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Dear Charlie:

We probably don't say this enough, but...really good question. But difficult. Because not only do you have all the DC and Marvel heroes, you've got crime-fighting, pajama-clad men and women cavorting internationally as well. Not to mention your independents, some of whom just can't play with the big boys.

So, after focusing on the major players (Superman, Batman, Spider-Man, X-Men, etc.) and not even taking into account Superman's popularity and previous dominance in inter-hero dustups, we have to go with the Man of Steel. Of all the A-list heroes, only Superman possesses so many abilities that he actually seems like multiple superheroes in one.

To wit: super strength, X-ray vision, Flash-like speed, real smart, knows how to relax, and, as if that weren't enough, can fly. Not to mention pecs and abs that make Arnold Schwarzenegger look like Olive Oyl. So, what is, say, Wonder Woman gonna do? Incapacitate him with her lie-detecting lasso and make him admit he doesn't know Lois Lane's middle name? Sure, Hulk might be stronger, but we imagine he's easily outwitted. And Batman? Splatman, pronto.

And all down the line. But what's this the BBC's reporting? "Weight for weight (spider silk) is actually stronger than steel." Whaaat? So if the Man of Steel were caught in one of Spider-Man's web-slinging traps... Hmm, food for thought.

Oh, and Charlie, one disclaimer: Superheroes aren't real.