孙sun悟wu空kong大da闹nao了le天tian宫gong之zhi后hou,被bei如ru来lai佛fo祖zu压ya在zai了le五wu行xing山shan下xia, “biu”的de一yi下xia,五wu百bai年nian过guo去qu了le……
观guan音yin:悟wu空kong!
悟wu空kong:*!又you是shi你ni?这zhe五wu百bai年nian来lai,你ni每mei个ge星xing期qi都dou要yao来lai一yi次ci,你ni知zhi不bu知zhi道dao你ni很hen烦fan啊a?
观guan音yin:这zhe就jiu是shi你ni的de错cuo了le,我wo今jin天tian来lai是shi要yao告gao诉su你ni一yi件jian好hao事shi的de!
悟wu空kong:要yao不bu是shi放fang我wo出chu去qu,免mian谈tan。我wo现xian在zai很hen忙mang,世shi界jie野ye生sheng动dong物wu基ji金jin会hui邀yao请qing我wo做zuo形xing象xiang代dai言yan人ren,特te奥ao会hui都dou请qing阿a诺nuo德de了le,我wo只zhi是shi挣zheng些xie零ling用yong钱qian而er已yi嘛ma。
观guan音yin:可ke是shi你ni现xian在zai是shi被bei压ya在zai大da山shan底di下xia啊a?
悟wu空kong:大da山shan?要yao不bu是shi为wei了le给gei如ru来lai一yi点dian面mian子zi,我wo早zao就jiu变bian成cheng一yi只zhi苍cang蝇ying飞fei走zou了le。只zhi是shi住zhu在zai别bie的de 地di方fang还huan要yao收shou费fei,我wo就jiu只zhi好hao白bai天tian上shang班ban,晚wan上shang回hui 来lai睡shui觉jiao了le?
观guan音yin:那na你ni今jin天tian为wei什shen么me没mei有you上shang班ban呢ne?
悟wu空kong:*!双shuang休xiu日ri,understand?
观guan音yin:SURE!
悟wu空kong:那na你ni今jin天tian来lai是shi要yao告gao诉su我wo什shen么me呢ne?
观guan音yin:你ni听ting着zhe。(说shuo话hua间jian,从cong兜dou里li掏tao出chu一yi个ge小xiao本ben本ben) ……孙sun悟wu空kong,男nan,因yin五wu百bai年nian前qian大da闹nao 天tian宫gong而er被bei压ya在zai五wu行xing山shan下xia,现xian经jing天tian竺zhu地di区qu街jie道dao管guan理li委wei员yuan会hui全quan体ti大da妈ma举ju手shou表biao决jue,将jiang此ci 人ren指zhi派pai给gei唐tang朝chao一yi僧seng人ren做zuo徒tu弟di。如ru不bu从cong命ming就jiu插cha~~~~~他ta老lao木mu,泼po~~~~~~他ta硫liu酸suan,踩cai 他ta的de小xiao底di迪di,注zhu销xiao他ta在zaiwww.kiwini.com的de登deng陆lu权quan限xian…
悟wu空kong:什shen么me?
观guan音yin:嘘xu~~~~~~
悟wu空kong:嘘xu嘘xu?
观guan音yin:*!嘘xu你ni妈ma个ge头tou啊a!我wo是shi让rang你ni别bie说shuo话hua,那na个ge和he尚shang来lai了le!我wo要yao闪shan先xian!
悟wu空kong:啊a?就jiu是shi这zhe个ge和he尚shang?
唐tang僧seng:按an照zhao地di图tu的de指zhi示shi,应ying该gai就jiu是shi这zhe里li了le呀ya?
悟wu空kong:啊a!你ni踩cai到dao我wo的de手shou啦la!
唐tang僧seng:哦o,sorry,我wo没mei有you注zhu意yi到dao你ni这zhe只zhi大da乌wu龟gui。
悟wu空kong:乌wu龟gui?
唐tang僧seng:是shi啊a?不bu过guo我wo还huan真zhen没mei见jian过guo像xiang你ni这zhe样yang驮tuo着zhe山shan一yi样yang大da的de乌wu龟gui壳ke,还huan长chang者zhe猴hou子zi一yi样yang脸lian的de乌wu龟gui。
悟wu空kong:看kan来lai观guan音yin是shi对dui的de,像xiang你ni这zhe样yang的de智zhi商shang,一yi个ge人ren是shi到dao不bu了le天tian竺zhu的de……
唐tang僧seng:哦o?你ni也ye认ren识shi观guan音yin?她ta一yi定ding是shi本ben地di最zui红hong的deMM。不bu知zhi道dao你ni认ren不bu认ren识shi这zhe里li一yi个ge叫jiao孙sun悟wu空kong的de猴hou子zi?
悟wu空kong:这zhe是shi我wo的de名ming片pian。
唐tang僧seng:哦o?你ni也ye叫jiao孙sun悟wu空kong?太tai巧qiao了le,那na你ni一yi定ding知zhi道dao附fu近jin和he你ni同tong名ming的de那na个ge人ren了le?
悟wu空kong:****!用yong脚jiao后hou跟gen想xiang你ni也ye该gai想xiang得de到dao我wo就jiu是shi你ni要yao找zhao的de那na只zhi猴hou子zi了le吧ba?我wo是shi被bei压ya在zai了le山shan底di下xia了le!
唐tang僧seng:不bu会hui吧ba?你ni不bu要yao骗pian我wo,你ni以yi为wei我wo是shi傻sha子zi?
悟wu空kong:傻sha子zi?你ni是shi傻sha子zi?你ni是shi在zai夸kua自zi己ji还huan是shi在zai骂ma傻sha子zi?哪na有you你ni这zhe么me傻sha的de傻sha子zi?
唐tang僧seng:这zhe也ye被bei你ni看kan出chu来lai了le?我wo要yao是shi不bu傻sha,谁shuitnnd愿yuan意yi出chu来lai干gan这zhe活huo?
悟wu空kong:好hao了le好hao了le,你ni现xian在zai马ma上shang到dao山shan顶ding把ba上shang面mian的de封feng条tiao揭jie掉diao,我wo就jiu可ke以yi和he你ni一yi起qi去qu取qu经jing了le。
唐tang僧seng:好hao的de,你ni等deng着zhe
悟wu空kong:喂wei~~~~~~~找zhao到dao了le没mei有you~~~~~~~~~
唐tang僧seng:找zhao到dao了le~~~~~~~~~可ke是shi我wo不bu知zhi道dao哪na个ge才cai是shi啊a~~~~~~~~
悟wu空kong:*!上shang面mian贴tie了le多duo少shao条tiao子zi啊a?
唐tang僧seng:很hen多duo啊a!“要yao想xiang富fu,少shao生sheng孩hai子zi多duo养yang猪zhu”、“只zhi生sheng一yi个ge好hao”、“周zhou星xing驰chi社she区qu,不bu上shang白bai不bu上shang”、“此ci地di无wu银yin三san百bai两liang”、“此ci处chu禁jin止zhi照zhao相xiang,违wei者zhe罚fa款kuan”……
悟wu空kong:对dui对dui对dui,就jiu是shi照zhao相xiang的de那na张zhang。
唐tang僧seng:好hao了le!我wo已yi经jing揭jie下xia来lai了le!
悟wu空kong:ok!你ni快kuai走zou远yuan些xie!
咯ge噔deng咯ge噔deng……(马ma蹄di声sheng)
悟wu空kong:再zai远yuan些xie……
咯ge噔deng咯ge噔deng……
悟wu空kong:再zai远yuan些xie……
咯ge噔deng咯ge噔deng……
悟wu空kong:再zai远yuan些xie……
唐tang僧seng:*!再zai远yuan就jiu到dao印yin度du啦la~~~~~~~~~~~~
悟wu空kong:俺an出chu来lai啦la!
唐tang僧seng:嗯en?山shan都dou没mei有you倒dao,你ni怎zen么me就jiu出chu来lai了le?
悟wu空kong:你ni从cong山shan洞dong里li往wang外wai爬pa还huan要yao把ba山shan弄nong到dao?
唐tang僧seng:你ni是shi爬pa出chu来lai的de?那na封feng条tiao?
悟wu空kong:走zou走zou形xing式shi嘛ma……其qi实shi封feng条tiao早zao就jiu过guo了le保bao质zhi期qi了le,又you没mei有you人ren来lai更geng换huan,售shou后hou服fu务wu真zhen~~~~~ 是shi差cha劲jing! 我wo们men走zou吧ba?
唐tang僧seng:你ni这zhe一yi身shen上shang下xia一yi丝si不bu挂gua的de,不bu好hao吧ba?
悟wu空kong:我wo有you毛mao啊a?
唐tang僧seng:有you毛mao了le不bu起qi啊a?我wo要yao不bu是shi当dang了le和he尚shang,比bi你ni毛mao还huan多duo呢ne!来lai,戴dai上shang这zhe个ge。
悟wu空kong:师shi傅fu,此ci去qu西xi天tian路lu途tu遥yao远yuan,你ni要yao总zong是shi这zhe样yang,恐kong怕pa是shi到dao不bu了le西xi天tian了le。
唐tang僧seng:怎zen么me了le?
悟wu空kong:我wo的de确que没mei有you穿chuan衣yi服fu,可ke是shi你ni给gei我wo这zhe个ge铁tie圈quan戴dai在zai头tou上shang,也ye起qi不bu了le什shen么me作zuo用yong啊a?
唐tang僧seng:哪na那na么me多duo废fei话hua?叫jiao你ni戴dai上shang就jiu戴dai上shang!
悟wu空kong:*!要yao不bu是shi看kan在zai观guan音yinMM的de面mian子zi上shang,我wo一yi棒bang子zi打da死si你ni也ye说shuo不bu定ding!(说shuo罢ba,悟wu空kong戴dai上shang了le金jin刚gang圈quan)
唐tang僧seng:§▲※〓◆◎☆■↑
悟wu空kong:?我wo的de头tou!
唐tang僧seng:哈ha哈ha哈ha!你ni怕pa了le吧ba?
悟wu空kong:这zhe难nan道dao就jiu是shi江jiang湖hu中zhong失shi传chuan已yi久jiu的de“摇yao头tou咒zhou”?
唐tang僧seng:不bu错cuo,这zhe摇yao头tou咒zhou你ni一yi经jing听ting过guo,你ni就jiu会hui立li刻ke上shang瘾yin而er无wu法fa自zi拔ba。一yi日ri不bu听ting就jiu会hui筋jin脉mai倒dao流liu;两liang日ri不bu听ting就jiu会hui周zhou身shen溃kui烂lan;三san日ri不bu听ting就jiu会hui气qi血xue两liang亏kui,脸lian上shang长chang出chu黄huang褐he斑ban,前qian列lie腺xian肿zhong大da,还huan会hui伴ban有you更geng年nian期qi症zheng状zhuang,就jiu算suan吃chi了le哈ha尔er滨bin制zhi药yao六liu厂chang生sheng产chan的de盖gai中zhong盖gai口kou服fu液ye也ye救jiu不bu了le你ni了le!
悟wu空kong:好hao狠hen毒du!
唐tang僧seng:呵he呵he,正zheng所suo谓wei无wu毒du不bu丈zhang夫fu,量liang小xiao非fei君jun子zi!
悟wu空kong:人ren家jia以yi后hou听ting你ni的de就jiu是shi了le嘛ma……死si鬼gui,还huan弄nong什shen么me“摇yao头tou咒zhou”,讨tao厌yan了le啦la!
【原文】